Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lock 'Em - Round 1 Results - Spoiler Alert!

It's time for the office playoff pool... This year it shall be mine! I will admit I haven't been the best prognosticator in years past, but, as they say in Oil Country there's always next year! For me, next year starts now.

Inside, you will find out how the first round will shake down!


San Jose (1) vs. Anaheim (8)

Anaheim was able to hang in there... Thanks to the collapse of our beloved Oil, the Ducks (who sucked large donk stick all year long) were able to waltz into the #8 spot. (Insert random Selanne stick measurement comment here)

Truth be told, I'm not just hating on Pronger because he's Pronger, or Bobby Ryan because Lowe apparently doesn't think the kid can play... All I'm saying about this series is: The Ducks goaltending isn't going to take them anywhere.

Hate Box Reaction: Todd Marchant will streak in alone and launch one top shelf to win the series for the Ducks.

Rusty Says: San Jose in 5.

Detroit (2) vs. Columbus (7)

Detroit is obviously Detroit. Columbus is obviously Colum... WTF?... Columbus is in the playoffs?!? It's about time, and I for one am happy to see it. Problem being - Columbus plays Detroit in the first round.

Now, I recall a certain player, who may have been Brad Winchester of all people, slay the mighty Wings... I don't see the same Detroit team the Oilers faced that wonderous spring. I'd love to see Columbus pull this one off, but... I keeps it real.

Hate Box Reaction: Jason Chimera will streak in alone and launch one top shelf to win the series for the Blue Jackets.

Rusty Says: Detroit in 6

Vancouver (3) vs. St. Louis (6)

Talk about a matchup of second half fire-breathers. Vancouver was able to steal the division from Calgary. St. Louis was the RuPaul of NHL bottom feeders and then skyrocketed into 6th place. This is the same St. Louis team that had a player knocked out the entire year in a terrible golf cart accident.

I don't much care for the Canucks at all to be quite frank. That being said...

Hate Box Reaction: Brad Winchester will streak in alone and launch one top shelf to win the series for the Blues.

Rusty Says: Vancouver in 7

Chicago (4) vs. Calgary (5)

Does the Olli Jokinen disease exist? I think so. The Flames were a mess down the stretch, ran into injuries, and just plain and simple are the Flames... They can lickith the stickith!

Hate Box Reaction: Rusty is right. F*ck the Flames!

Rusty Says: Chicago in 5


Boston (1) vs. Montreal (8)

I'm loving the look of this matchup. It's nice to see Boston back on the hockey map dominating the East this year, and it was fun to watch Montreal have their roller coaster of a year. Normally, the Canadian bias comes out quite easily, but Boston looks too strong a team to hate on.

Hate Box Reaction: But Rusty, can you possibly doubt the Eastern Conference All Star starting line-up? They have to win! They're Allstars Dammit!

Rusty Says: Boston in 6

Washington (2) vs. NYR (7)

Will we see some Sean Avery fireworks? Will Ovechkin score a game winning goal and do the worm on the ice? The Rangers coming into this year looked like a strong team early, but really bottomed off as the season wore-on - much like the Canadiens. I would love to see Slats have some success in the new millennium, but this will not be the year. (at least millenniums are long, right?)

Hate Box Reaction: Scott Gomez is a playoff superstar, the only way the Caps could pull this off is if they had traded for Pisani before the deadline.

Rusty Says:
Washington in 5

New Jersey (3) vs. Carolina (6)

Erik Cole really helps Carolina coming into this series, and I do love to see a spoiler. I'm going to pull the Brent Sutter has already mailed it in card and say Carolina will pull the upset.

Hate Box Reaction: How can you choose an Ex-Oiler like Cole to lead a team through the first round and not choose the greatest player in the 2004 draft besides Pouliott?

Rusty Says: Carolina in 7

Pittsburgh (4) vs. Philadelphia (5)

There was a lot of talk earlier in the year about how a team could have the 2 top scorers in the league and miss the playoffs. The Pens turned it around and made some noise in the second half of the year and do have 2 of the best lamp lighters in the league. It's tough to hate on the Flyers instantly as I normally would, seeing as they went on a romp last year. That being said, even though it may be a bit tougher to hate on them this year, I still will take pleasure in doing so.

Hate Box Reaction: Joffrey Lupul is going to score 5 goals in a game at least 3 times this playoffs and will be named Conn Smythe winner.

Rusty Says: Pittsburgh in 6

There ya have it!

1 comment:

  1. @ Rusty Shackleford:

    Holy wrong about the Ducks goaltending eh? Dumbass.