Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Round 2 Predictions



It's time to get down to business. I received an email this morning with the updated standings in our office pool. I gave her a looksy, and was shocked and dismayed to find that Trusty Rusty Shackleford was found sitting alone in 5th place. Depressing to say the least. I felt my first round was deserving of more than 5th place, and decided to review the InstaRound Trackometer I prepared for myself.

Either I do not know mathematics, or something is afoot!

5th place in our pool is currently worth 450 points. The InstaRound Trackometer below tells a different tale:



I CALL SHINANIGANS!!!


Math is math, and 450 is not the same as 490 - or at least the last time I busted out my Abacus they were not the same.

I have launched a formal complaint and expect an immediate resolution to this unfortunate instance. Assuming my outcry is heard, I will have vaulted from 5th place into sole possession of 2nd place. Nobody remembers who finished 2nd... But we ain't finished yet compadres.

I didn't freaking know Mick McGeough was tallying the scores this year!?! Bush League. George W. Bush League in fact. Although, we are friggen swamped at work right now, and official Tally Master is not exactly a paid position. I'll take my second place and move on to Round 2.

Moving On To Round 2:



WESTERN CONFERENCE

Detroit (2) vs. Anaheim (8)

Well I made a bold statement that clearly did not come true. Trusty Rusty no longer! That being said, Occasionally Correct Rusty doesn't have the same ring to it!

I yammered on about how the Ducks goaltending would not take them anywhere in this series. Meaning, will not take them anywhere BUT THE SECOND ROUND OF THE DANCE!

Much like the BJ's, the Ducks will need to step their game up against the Wings. The BJ's got on their knees vs. Detroit. Will Jonas Hiller do the same?

Hate Box Reaction: Chris Pronger will streak in alone and launch one top shelf to win the series for the Ducks.

Rusty Says: Detroit in 6.

Vancouver (3) vs. Chicago (4)

Will Roberto Luongo steal a series? Will Patrick Kane break into tears following a game 4 sweep of the 'nucks?

This series should be a doosy. It's times like these where the great debate takes place. Does one: a). Choose the Canadian Team Left or b). Spit on the Canadian Team because they are not the Mighty Oil?

Hate Box Reaction: You forget 1 thing Mr. Shackleford... Mats Sundin. MATS SUN-FUCKING-DIN!

Rusty Says: Chicago in 6.

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Boston (1) vs. Carolina (6)

This should be a pretty exciting series too. Boston plays an exciting game, and the Canes showed some serious spine in Round 1. Unfortunately for Carolina, Boston isn't going to let Erik Cole scare them.

Hate Box Reaction: You sir, are wrong! Dumbass!

Rusty Says: Boston in 6.

Washington (2) vs. Pittsburgh (4)

The matchup of all matchups! Tom Poti vs. Rob Scuderi

Dynomite!

Hate Box Reaction: Mathieu Garon will come in for relief duty and lead the Pens to the cup! Douche.
Rusty Says: Washington in 7.

Bring on 1st place!


Below is how Swine Flu feels about my race to the #1 spot!:





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