Petr The Pussy Eating Pelican

Pelicans eat pussy too! Well, I'll be damned. This happy little fella shall be dubbed Petr The Pussy Eating Pelican.

The rain has stopped, yet somehow I find myself watching the Jays game. Something has to give. So, onto the intertracery to spew my filth I go.

Admiral Instra-Trak Text Message Alert! I just received a text message from a buddy that is returning to work after some time off. Inspirational is an understatement:

"I love work, and my crew is so fucking cool. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I'm so excited for 10 hours of work tomorrow, and the day after!"

Now, if only everybody had the same lust for life as my friend, we'd live in a much more efficient world. I can see it now:
- Timmy's would have no lineups.
- The floor under the urinal would not be covered in a puddle of excrement.
- The Mighty Oil would be sitting up 3-0 in the second round of the '09 NHL Playoffs.
- Meagan Fox would have mothered my children and also fornicated with my bank account.
- Chrysler would not be bankrupt.
- Duke Nukem would be available on the iPhone.



Too bad my buddy was being totally sarcastic. As it turns out, he would rather stick a sharpened, swine-flu infected popsicle stick in his rectum than go to work. He sure had me fooled... This means 1 thing: I will continue to wear my galoshes whilst relieving myself, urinal styles.

I'm not sure what the point of this post was, but it did get me away from watching baseball - for this I am thankful.

Other Random Notes:

- It's hump day. I have yet to hump.

- That Pens/Caps game was pretty entertaining. Malkin would look nice in Copper n Blue.

- It's about fucking time it rained. Farmers need some love too! (I could make a swine-flu joke, but I have taste dammit!!!)

- Drinking beer for several hours will drive a man to posting useless dribble about pelicans that eat pussy, and Megan Fox having babies.


I think I accomplished everything I set out to with this one! Success!





I have also decided to go Carlos Mencia on the Towel Boy. By this, I mean I have stolen a video directly from his site to whore it upon my own. I hadn't seen this beauty until a few minutes ago.



Hate Box Reaction: How come Towel Boy comes up with quality ideas for posts, while Rusty sits here drinking beer and talking about fornication?

Rusty Says: Because Towel Boy is a trail blazer. I'm a thief. Felonious capers, my friends.

Looks like it's back to drinking.

Adamantium

Bruno Official Trailer (R-rated!)


I might be interested in seeing this.

Here is a sampling of his contributions to Twitter:

Megan Fox makes my penis harder than adamantium.
9:01 PM May 3rd from web - Borat

Agreed.

I think Purell Hand Sanitizer was specifically made for post masturbation cleanliness. Never beat it and then touch your keyboard w/o it.
11:10 PM Mar 11th from Power Twitter - Borat

Also agreed.




Jimminy Sprokets!

Das Wunderkinder

I've always been pro Ovechkin. The thing is, I've never really been negative Crosby. Lately, the boy SC87 has been reading too much into his press. Crosby has taken shots throughout his career, while still being the poster boy of the league. He has done some impressive things, but has also been hyped beyond belief. Fans were quick to lose their love for Aunt Sidney after just a couple of short years in the league.

He's a robot, they'd yell! He has 5 quotes to choose from, they bellowed! He was going to skip the All Star game until the league squeezed his nards, they proclaimed! He sounds more like Abe Simpson than my grandpa, and on, and on.

Crosby is a damn fine player. I'd do some pretty unthinkable things to see him suit up in RX1 on a regular basis. But, he is quickly losing my interest in the person (not that he's ever given anyone something to be interested in). Not only is he so predictable on the mic, he does seem to bitch a lot in general. Fine. He's a star.

Of all the things he's done thus far, I must say tonight was something else. Das Wunderkinder proceeds to bitch at the ref... in a playoff game... about the home crowd celebrating too much?..... Pardon me? Excusay Moi?



What does Sid expect the refs to do?

Oh, wait:

"People kept throwing hats," Crosby said. "And I was just asking if he could make an announcement to ask them to stop."

That explains it! Makes total sense in fact. Why should the fans be allowed to throw hats on the ice when Sid the Kid is on the scene? He's SID THE KID!!!

Or, was he just wanting the fans to make sure there were some hats left for when he popped his trick?

I would certainly enjoy seeing them drop the gloves. Indeed.

It's a lot harder to like a player when you can't stand the person. That being said, bring on 2010. Make me love you again!!!

My summation on Crosby: What a tool, but if he wins us a gold... I will forgive.

Ahhhhh... Gotta Love Playoff Hockey!

This was one hell of a hit. The question being - dirty or clean? Well, the puck was obviously gone. He could have turned or slowed up. On the other hand, Hudler was doing the classic watching of the pass; I guess he was asking for it. Both parties a little bit at fault?

The jury is still out.

Click Here For More 2009 Playoff Hits!

Here are some other doosies:







This didn't happen in the playoffs, but I still love it:

What Was I On? April 27th - May 1st

What Was I On?
Let's See What I Was On Last Week!
This week I was on:

Rusty's Choice:
A Nun



Trip Down Memory Lane:
Wolfenstein



Weekly WTF:
Don't Touch The Fucking Sign!



Bitchin!

Can't We All Just Get Along?

I heard an audio clip of this real commercial over the radio while taming the Henday. I got a cheap laugh out of it at first and the after-clip banter was even better. On the show, talk of how we can all get along - blacks and whites - sunshine and puppies - were being spread across the radio waves. What followed was a bombshell that made me wonder aloud.

(Paraphrased)"They wouldn't be as happy if Person A's teenage daughter was seeing Person B's son."

This lead me to thinking: Does Mr. White Man, Radio Host A, have a daughter that happens to be teenie bopper?

The answer: Of course. Why else would he randomly drop toss that out there?

What about the Mexican diss? Oh, right. Swine Flu. Gotcha. The production value of this video was also stunning. I wonder if Red House would open a franchise here? At the Reddddd House!

Heads!

Wow. Scary shit. One staffer was paralyzed from the waist down. 12 people in total injured. Not good.